patti smith by robert mapplethorpe.
one of my friends is coming to the city and we are going to mapplethorpe's grave to, i don't know, cry and do hipster things. i'm not really a fan of art (even though most of my school is one of the most prestigious art schools in the country) mostly because i look at it and don't really understand it. sure a lot of it's pretty but it doesn't make sense to me and sometimes i'm half convinced some artists are bullshitting the meaning of their work. i'm sure some of my schoolmates are.
i think art is a great and wonderful thing and a really important form of expression but i think one of the problems i have, with modern art especially, is that it is too personal and too pretentious, in that a lot of people are making art for themselves (not a bad thing) and displaying it to a large audience (also not a bad thing) who are then trying to access the emotions present when the artist made the piece, which is... difficult, to say the least, which leads to a lot of people interpreting it in a lot of different ways (definitely not a bad thing because different interpretations of the same thing are one of the reasons the world functions) but then some people don't understand it and pretend to or just make shit up and i'm like come on guys, really?
literature is sort of the same way and that's coming from an aspiring writer so i don't know. and i know a huge number of people know so much more about art than i do. but a lot of times i feel sort of alienated by it, especially contemporary stuff. i don't think it should stop! i don't think it should ever ever stop, i don't think anyone should stop making whatever kind of art they want to and rationalizing it however they want to but sometimes it is just not for me.
photography is much more easily accessible to me because for some reason i can understand it much more easily, and robert mapplethorpe is definitely a favourite.
i don't know if any of this made sense, i'm really tired and haven't left my house all day and i'm kind of down in the dumps. i've got a bunch of anxiety symptoms coming back that i haven't had to deal with for more than a year and it really fucking sucks and i think it's tied to my recent break-up and just ugh.
maybe i'll write a ranty post about that or make a video or something but... i just have a lot of feelings right now is what i guess i am trying to say and i don't really know how to deal with them in a way that is safe and sane. ending a really long relationship sucks because i really don't want to just start over with someone strange and new but i guess i have to eventually. right now im focusing on myself, though.