current obsession

xoxo

mouse

being human is weird

and no i'm not talking about the show although that's kinda weird too

four months ago i was at one of the lowest points i've ever been. and now i feel so so so much better about my life and the direction it's going in and the people i'm surrounding myself with. i honestly can't believe that less than a year ago i was fully prepared to drink myself to death. i'd absolutely given up and i really don't think i wanted to live. i know i didn't want to think.

and now, now, now... i've given up most of my vices (still haven't quit smoking... it's fucking tough but i'm working on it) and i feel creative and brilliant and yeah bad shit has happened but i can't let it get me down because i know how i'll be if i do and that's the biggest motivator i've got right now.

i hope all you mice have a wonderful wonderful long weekend!

xoxo

mouse

hello mice

hi hi hi hi hi

i've got quite a bit on my plate recently. a few strange things have happened. 

i'm still in pennsylvania, at least until thursday, but i might have to stay on a bit longer than expected. 

i'm looking forward to the rest of the week. i'm so so so sorry i've been having such technological problems. i'm using my sister's computer which is quite slow so i haven't been able to comment on other blogs nearly as often as i'd really like to. but thank you thank you thank you as always for your kind comments. my computer issue is being resolved as we speak.

also i would just like to add that if any of you mice somehow find me on facebook, that's totally fine (and good detective work i might add). but i cannot accept friend requests from people on here unless we have actually communicated otherwise. i like to keep facebook just for the people i really know and am really going to talk to. if you want to get in touch with me, though, my email is right in my info box, feel free to send me a message!

xoxo

mouse

you better wise up, janet weiss

so once again, my laptop is out of commission. i'm borrowing my sister's school computer for the time being, while i'm in pennsylvania, but when i get back to new york it's going to be another couple of weeks without a computer. 

this really sucks because it basically means i can't blog. i will do my damndest to keep you updated with short but interesting text posts when i've got the chance to be on a computer so you all don't flee to another dimension and never come back again, because i love every single person who reads this dumb thing. 

i'm in pennsylvania for my dad's and sister's birthdays, and i'm going back to the city on thursday. i have really bad anxiety about travel so i'm already sort of dreading the journey back. alas

tonight i went to see rocky horror at midnight which, let's be honest, is the only way to do it. my friend and i dressed as brad and janet (photos to come) and it was basically fucking amazing, it's the second time i've been to this particular incarnation of midnight rocky and honestly, in a small town it's much bigger than it is in a big city. 

in a city there are people there who are doing it because it's something to do, but here you can tell the people who are there love it. sure there aren't as many of them but they're fucking hardcore.

never underestimate the power of small town freaks. 

xoxo

janet weiss

do i look like a dyke to you?

words like lesbian, dyke, gay, faggot, bisexual, homo, have always bothered me.

not because of the negative connotations, although there is that too. anyone using words like that for hate is in the wrong. 

but that's not what i'm here to discuss.

i'm here to discuss the fact that, today, while in conversation with a relatively new friend of mine, i mentioned a relationship i've had. he continued the conversation, asking about "him". i gently corrected him to her and carried on with the conversation. he didn't, however.

he stopped. and looked at me. 

for a long time.

and then he said, "you don't look like a dyke to me."

i wasn't entirely sure how to respond. sure, i've been called that before, i've been called a lot of names before. i've even had people tell me i looked like a lesbian and hey, that didn't bother me, but for some reason this did. 

i don't look like a dyke?

what the fuck does that mean?

i wrapped up the conversation relatively awkwardly and went on my way but the question kept grating on me. i didn't explain my sexuality to him because i don't feel like i should have to explain. you like someone, you like someone. that's just how it is. i don't look at a straight couple and say "hey, give me a breakdown of your sexual and romantic preferences, please." i don't look at a girl whose hands are maybe a little big and say, "hey, miss, i was just wondering, do you happen to have a penis?"

so why does this kid think he has the right?

you know what word i do like? queer. because it fits. i'm not bisexual. sure, i like girls. but i don't like all girls. sure, i like boys, but i don't like all boys. and then there are girls who are boys and boys who are girls and everything in between and who is to say which one of them i'm going to fall head over heels in love with next?

i'm queer 'cos it sounds cool. cos being queer means being kinda weird. kinda funny. kinda mixed up. my sexuality isn't queer. that's just who i am.

just some musings for the night.

xoxo

mouse

school's out for summer

 it was my last day of school!

xoxo

mouse

what i wear when i run to the store

 i own three of these dresses in different colours, they're super lightweight just to throw on with my usual accessories when i need an errand/sushi break during finals

 also i got some new headphones... working on glitterizing them and covering them with lisa frank stickers

xoxo

mouse