i know what you want, but you're never gonna get it so you might as well forget it.

$5 goodwill. i have to de-shoulder-pad so i dont look so much like a ridiculous southern belle and maybe do some magic waist manipulation

$15 h&m

this one has been an object of lust for a while. i know my bra straps are tacky

i just wish the sleeve was on the other side so it would show of my tattoo :c

i snatched this up since it was on sale. it needs a belt but i'm in love with it

princess dress x-treem

I DYED MY HAIR AGAIN LOL i put it up today but the ends are blue. i look like a rocket pop

sparkly sparkly dress $5 from goodwill

this is my yo-landi vi$$er costume

which i will totally wear all day someday

maybe a lot of days

title: from $copie by die antwoord

i am addicted to...

• ebay
• sheer clothing - dresses and shirts especially
• leather
• lace
• leather and lace together
• the ''torn up'' look. i have to do that whole pretend-to-eat thing for a few weeks before i can rock this for summer but i'm looking forward to seriously slashing some shit up.
• faking diy. i'm terrible at that shit but i do what i can.
• denial
• etsy
• black dresses - seriously i have so many it doesn't even make sense and every time i find one that's just a little bit more interesting than something i might already have i have to buy it. it is ridiculous
• chapstick. i have five different kinds of chapstick in my purse tell me how necessary that is
• search and destroy (above)

i'm thinking of starting some sort of diary or journal. i tend to shy away from writing things about my real emotions that aren't complete euphemisms, and i need something to tell my secrets to. i'm very particular about what sort of notebook i need for particular things though, so the search continues.

something i wrote for intro fiction that has no place on this blog but its my blog and i'll do what i want (goshh)

I had no doubt that she would have been a girl, and that I would have named her Lola Harlequin in the way that most young girls think that if they had a baby they would name it something like a fantasy or a dream and then they do and then the poor child is forever marked as a mistake in the back of a pick-up truck or in a breathless bedroom, silent so the front door can interrupt. And I, in literary conceit, with no drop of Spanish in my blood, would have called her Lolita. With a name like that something terrible could happen to the poor thing, but I wouldn’t have thought of it like that. And her daddy would have left and I wouldn’t have cared because I’d have had my Lo. Lolalitalilola.

I would have dropped out and everyone would have talked but no more than they did anyway. I would have endured the disappointment of my family, endured knowing that I was the promising child no longer. I would have locked myself in with the sweet thing and touched her little fingers and little toes and gone nowhere in life but I would have had something with me that had my blood in it. But, with no tears, I got in the car with my parents and drove to the north end of the state and left what was already made of little Lo there, without ever knowing her face.

There are some afternoons that are greyer than most, when I ask all the questions that will never make it past my lips, when I tell myself all of the things I’ve never told anyone. Her father is miles away and his face and name are like acid at the back of my tongue. I am here, and I am now, and there is rain coming down in little specks that dot the pages of the book I am trying to read, and I smile at the sky because it is like London.

the pros and cons of fantasy hair

"fantasy hair" is a term which i believe was coined by one of my fashion icons, doe deere of lime crime.

i love lime crime. i own one lipstick and that is all. i am not a huge fan of lipstick because i am a huge fan of kissing and those things seem to get in the way of each other, but i digress.

i have had my red hair for about six months now, and i've learned a lot about how it changes the way some things are.

some awesome things about having bright red hair:

• lots of compliments and positive attention. most of the complements i get are from older people and children, which is not at all what i was expecting, but i love it!
• it's fairly unique and makes a statement.
• i'm comfortable going out without makeup with my red hair. i don't know why that is but i embrace it.
• it feels more me than anything else is.
• it's like a beacon. if anyone's having trouble finding me even with my massive height, the hair will help.

some less awesome things about having bright hair:

• basically everything i rest my head on turns pink, which is really annoying. i feel like i didn't have this problem as much with manic panic as i do with special effects, which i guess makes sense because of the clear difference in color payoff. i wish this wasn't the case though. it could be because my hair has a lot of natural oils, but i'm still trying to figure out a quick fix for this.
• while some people think my hair is very on-trend, some people think it means i am a vagrant or a hooligan, and treat me as such.
• something about bright red/pink hair seems to scream to men, "lookatmelookatmelookatmybutt. make a comment. MAKE A SEXUAL COMMENT. DO IT."
• the maintenance, while not a huge deal, is definitely a lot more than what i had to do when i had brown hair. granted, i've never really been one to spend much time on my hair.

one thing I can tell you is you got to be free

socks-betsey johnson

dress-vintage from rag & bone

this is what i look like without makeup on. hgngh

it was really nice out today, which is why i celebrated with this dress. i actually saw it first when i went to rag & bone last october (it's in my hometown, and i only visit from college occasionally). i looked at it, decided it was too expensive, and moved on.

when i went back over spring break, it was still there.

and because it was still there, it had been marked down. to fifteen dollars. which is something even i can afford.

so here it is.

lyrics from come together by the beatles.

this is by far the best beatles cover i have ever heard in my life. my general philosophy is that no one should cover certain artists - the beatles, bob dylan - because it amounts to sacrilege. however, this girl is perfect.

look what i'm offering you... your dreams

i'm not really. if i was the goblin king i would totally give you that rodarte dress that you want (and keep being outbid on on ebay) or those vivienne westwood shoes that would make all your princess dreams come true, but i'm not and i can't.

i'll let you in on a secret... wearing this, despite the tutu, makes me feel masculine. i hate that i can't wear something not completely nauseatingly girly without being like "huh, this makes me feel like a dude." and this is a girl's hoodie... it's just not as form-fitting, i guess, as i'm used to from my clothes.

it's one of the reasons i don't wear pants. that, and being six feet tall does not make pants love one. on these legs most pants make me look like i'm preparing for flood season.

that is a bag of candy.

sweatshirt - from hot topic at least five years ago.

skirt - forever 21. last seen here

tights - american apparel. last seen here

shoes - dolce vita for target hah ahha ha ha hahahah ha.

tummy

this is why all those shots didn't have my face in them. i guess i sort of negated the sentiment though. i'm trying to prepare my skin for being foundation-free. i want to wean myself off of it. it is difficult because i am insecure.

my nails are cool. i got that crackle polish that everyone's been wanting and no one seems to have. i can't stop using it. i'm going to run out soon.

nerdicus maximus.

and now for the possibility of something completely different.

what's weird is that i'm a little nervous about changing my hair colour. i know, it's bright fucking red, and i did it on a whim last september and haven't looked back since. (in fact, the six-month anniversary of me being a redhead, with about two weeks around thanksgiving of straying back to my roots, is right about now.)

but yellow? and blue?! good god... how extreme. i bought them because i know someday i'm going to have the balls or the lack of self control and just dye the shit out of my hair, but no promises as to when that might be.

some things that make me happy that i found on photobooth

...that i decided to post since i have been negligent and terrible to my few sweet readers.everyone who knows me knows i am completely obsessed with cats, and this one is the best one. her name is jade and she has fiv, which is an immunodeficiency virus very similar to hiv. fiv cats have a lifespan of five years on average. jade is 11 and she is the sweetest cat ever. this face she is making is her only real form of protest, and she loves people. i've had her for ages and the one part i don't like about being in college is that i don't get to hug her all day every day.

my shirt in this picture is from opening ceremony, but i didn't know that when i bought it (for 28 dollars at search and destroy). i accidentally find really cool shit sometimes.
this batman headband is from etsy seller jaahart who is not only a geek after my own heart but incredibly sweet and cool to work with (this was a custom order from her). she even sent me two deadpool hairclips for free!
this dress, which i bought on ebay. it looks kind of funny in the picture because i hadn't fashioned the back, but it is a princess dress of the highest order, and has fake flowers on top. and a pink sash. i love it. boyfriend thinks i look ridiculous in it.

ask me if i care.
speaking of boyfriend... i am not going to broadcast to the blogosphere what is ~up with our relationship right now, but i will say that things always work out for the best, and he is and always will be one of the most wonderful people in my life.

i need to find a really cool sign off. like THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

okay, that's not working for me.