i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack

from the bahamas!

i have a tan line and sunburns on my elbows.

i will update proper when i sober up.

love you all!

And happy thanksgiving

Moral objections to the holiday aside, it's nice to travel and see
Family members and actually be expected to eat ridiculous amounts
I'm on my mothers iPad whi h is w all the formatting is Fucked up and there are typos that are too much of a pain in the ass to bother to fix
After this week I'm going to really focus on eating a more healthy diet because I am not feeling my best and still not treating my body too nicely
I have some great pictures
Alreawdy. I only in Florida, the Bahamas will be tomorrow
I can't imagine that I will sleep on the cruise, it's so short and there is so much t do and see
Autocorrect is making writing this post extra dun abd surprising
I'm obviously nopt used to typing on the iPad.I'm not sure I'm that big of a fan but. Couldn't bring my computer here. IT is kind of fun but it's not easy.
Anyway I'm going to g get some swimming done before food happens, love you guys and hope you have a happy thanksgiving IMF ou are American and a hpy Thursday inf you are not!
Xoxo
Mouse

for the girl

seeee there is a post here!

this is cat

i thought it was floyd while i was holding him but now i think it might be sev

hat turned into a headband-vintage

shorts-don't remember, i think h&m

shirt-dragon chaser's

necklace-ebay (polly pocket locket-hunchback of notre dame)

awkward potato knees-all me, baby

stopppp

i dont know why i keep having so many photo-free posts

WAIT

WAIT

WAIT

WAIT

YES I DO

IT'S BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND/PHOTOGRAPHER IS SOMETIMES DISAGREEABLE

hahah "sometimes"

well i'm gonna try to get a post up today but i have to go out to dinner

w/ my dad and his girlfriend

and make onion rings

so thats a maybe

or that's a bingo

we are not sure

anyway. i'm going to florida for thanksgiving

and then on a cruise to the bahamas

which

i know

is really fucking white

anyway

uh

more posts

soon

hi

holy shit you guys.

you guys, holy shit.

there was a homeless guy living in the laundry room of my apartment

and they found him and kicked him out yesterday

but then today ali and i heard the police chasing him (or maybe someone else) out again

like all the way through my side of the building (the back side)

and apparently he took his dick out

which sounds to me like he is a little unbalanced

and now im scared.

i dont know how he got through the front door in the first place!

much less into the laundry room

which auto-locks and has the same key as the front door.

oh god what if he has a key.

matters are not helped by the fact that earlier this year the landlord had to change the front door lock

because apartments had been getting robbed

on the 2nd and 5th floors!

i'm on the 4th

and whoever was doing it used the fire escapes

which means they got through the front door and into the courtyard :(

i'm super paranoid someone's just going to be like

hanging out on the fire escape when i go to sleep now.

ali needs to get back from class i am way too neurotic for this

obsessions

i have a confession to make: this is the SAME DRESS i was wearring in my last post two days ago.

I KNOW. I FUCKING KNOW. I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE EXCUSES. I HAVE NONE.

i was wearing a belt over it which looked really nice and really took care of all the unflattering baby doll effect (ali liked it too) but when i came home i just took it off (dramatically and with flourish and cast it asunder like it had broken my heart orrrrrrrrrrr something) and whatever.

luckily this dress is not the point of the post. see that HUGE fucking seashell-like necklace dangling just above my lady lumps (oh, god, i'm sorry)?

that is a polly pocket locket and it is pocahontas, and i have ordered more like it from ebay.

NO EXCUSES NO APOLOGIES I AM OBSESSED.

i actually had this exact one when i was young and my mother got rid of it when we moved from IL to PA so i got it again on ebay.

the L pin is from topshop. the necklace is 3 disney world charm bracelets strung together.

the mirror shots are because my photographer is at martial arts.

and the bathroom is dirty because i don't clean.

xoxo

mouse

me vs food

i am one of those people who loses weight fairly easily.

however, i also gain weight REALLY easily.

i've been both pretty heavy and pretty thin

i think i was at my heaviest in 10th grade?

and my skinniest in 8th although i'm not sure that should really even count

because i was basically a child

being six feet tall it is relatively easy for me to wear weight

but sometimes its not

right now my face and my stomach look a little heavier than i want them to

as do my thighs

it's hard living with an amazing cook who i'm pretty sure makes things as unhealthy as paula deen does

not to mention the fact that i LOVE FOOD

especially cheese

and i waste a lot of calories getting drunk

SO

i'm making a resolution

in front of you all so i can be accountable for it

i'm going to start to eat things (not ALWAYS but i will try)

that are good for me and good for my skin because that's been looking a little ick too

i don't have a scale so i can't really say i want to lose x number of pounds

but i want to look good! and feel good! hooray!

and also save some money because damn i am broke

snapshots

just some pictures of some things. you know.

this is one of our cats. this one's sev(erus), who i have bonded with more. the other, floyd, is his twin brother and is more ali's cat.

sev likes drawers.

this is how ali and i prepared for hurricane irene. i was so convinced that the tree outside our window would fall and crash through and kill us (of course nothing happened although it still does lean quite precariously) that i made him drag our mattress into the kitchen, farther from the windows and the courtyard, and we spent the night in it.

we also bought a 12-pack of tacos from taco bell figuring that if the power went out they'd still be good.

this is a half naked picture of my boyfriend in our irene fort.

he looks pissed off for some reason. i want to say its probably because of my pikachu. he HATES my pikachu.

here is some sky from the highline, which is one of my favourite places in this city.

finally!

helloooo arm party. pink princess bracelets made by me, black watch was my dads, seal/polar bear watch is a kids swatch, blue bracelet from street stall, bug bracelet from illinois

glitter glitter glitter. i love accent nails. ring from nubambu on etsy

dress - vintage 90s velvet babydoll found on ebay. im not usually a fan of babydoll dresses but this one is lovely and warm.

tights - leg avenue i think?

shoes - wanted

collar - urban outfitters

snake headpiece - rag and bone vintage in state college pa

my hair looks kinda funny because i didn't let it dry all the way before going out. the blue's really faded and the purple's still pretty well in there, which is interesting.

the blue is manic panic turquoise and the purple is special effects, so i guess that says something.

coat - goodwill

peppermint mocha - yum

i'm really liking the whole taking photos outside thing. ali insists that he's a terrible photographer but i like how these came out.

running

there we go, i'm picking myself up and dusting myself off.

i'm really not a fan of using a pc; i miss my mac terribly.

but that's how it is.

i've still not got any outfit posts but here is the only picture that exists of me with this hair

besides the ones that random people keep taking of me

which... what?

i don't even understand anything

ah well.

that was my delirium cosplay for comiccon

i made a really tall delirium especially with the heels.

ali made a really good dream. he painted himself white which was great.

i've been writing again, so that's good, and i've been thinking again, which is even better.

i have some comments about the penn state fiasco (i am from state college and my parents are law professors there)

but i feel like i've drawn that shit out too much so let me just say:

fuck 'em all.

fuck the child fuckers and the guys who covered it up.

fuck the kids who think football is more important than children.

fuck the people who are more concerned about the legacy of an old coot who--i will admit--did a lot for the school but also fucked up beyond repair this time, above the public perception of their educational institution.

he was due for retirement anyway.

fuck 'em all.

if i was there tonight i'd be with all the kids standing on the old main lawn holding their candles for the victims.

because joe paterno was no fucking victim.

that's all there is to that. oh!

i'm reading a book about the hartford circus fire.

it's just called "the circus fire", it's by stewart o'nan and it's really good.

i'm hoping i can run my fat ass down to the memorial sometime soon.

although i have no idea what else i'd do in conneticut.

well that is where i will leave you pretties.

sorry for all the wordswordswords thats been going on lately.

xoxo

mouse

"we only said goodbye with words"

i've been looking through some of the older--and even not so old--posts on this blog.

i don't feel like that girl anymore.

sure, my hair colour is different (which i haven't talked about... it's blue and purple but i think i'll be going back to red soon. it suits me better and feels more comfortable) but for some reason it just doesn't feel like that.

so much has changed in the past month and some of it was good and some of it was bad.

all of it made sense and all of it had to happen to get me to where i am now.

i'm still without my precious mac (more than a month now... it's withdrawal) but i'm finally starting to care how i dress again

mostly because i haven't been drinking all day every day

so maybe i can coerce the boyfriend into taking some nice shots with the nikon.

also i don't know if i'm going to reach anyone interested through this, but i'm looking to sell a 1991-ish canon eos700 film camera, great condition with two lenses, its own case with a film pocket, and a bunch of lens filters. i'm looking for about 400 for all of it.

if you or anyone you know would like it please let me know.

xoxo

mouse

i'm sorry.

i still don't have my mac. i can't take photos from my boyfriend's pc. i'm fluctuating between taking my medication and not taking my medication and neither option seems to make me too happy. i'm trying to stop drinking but it's only been today. two weeks ago was the last time before this that i was completely sober. i felt good today but now i feel bad. i don't know. i don't know why i'm telling you guys this. i'm not trying to ask for help. maybe i'm trying to ask for help. i don't think you've seen the last of me. but maybe you have for a while.