look what i'm offering you... your dreams

i'm not really. if i was the goblin king i would totally give you that rodarte dress that you want (and keep being outbid on on ebay) or those vivienne westwood shoes that would make all your princess dreams come true, but i'm not and i can't.

i'll let you in on a secret... wearing this, despite the tutu, makes me feel masculine. i hate that i can't wear something not completely nauseatingly girly without being like "huh, this makes me feel like a dude." and this is a girl's hoodie... it's just not as form-fitting, i guess, as i'm used to from my clothes.

it's one of the reasons i don't wear pants. that, and being six feet tall does not make pants love one. on these legs most pants make me look like i'm preparing for flood season.

that is a bag of candy.

sweatshirt - from hot topic at least five years ago.

skirt - forever 21. last seen here

tights - american apparel. last seen here

shoes - dolce vita for target hah ahha ha ha hahahah ha.

tummy

this is why all those shots didn't have my face in them. i guess i sort of negated the sentiment though. i'm trying to prepare my skin for being foundation-free. i want to wean myself off of it. it is difficult because i am insecure.

my nails are cool. i got that crackle polish that everyone's been wanting and no one seems to have. i can't stop using it. i'm going to run out soon.

nerdicus maximus.

and now for the possibility of something completely different.

what's weird is that i'm a little nervous about changing my hair colour. i know, it's bright fucking red, and i did it on a whim last september and haven't looked back since. (in fact, the six-month anniversary of me being a redhead, with about two weeks around thanksgiving of straying back to my roots, is right about now.)

but yellow? and blue?! good god... how extreme. i bought them because i know someday i'm going to have the balls or the lack of self control and just dye the shit out of my hair, but no promises as to when that might be.

some things that make me happy that i found on photobooth

...that i decided to post since i have been negligent and terrible to my few sweet readers.everyone who knows me knows i am completely obsessed with cats, and this one is the best one. her name is jade and she has fiv, which is an immunodeficiency virus very similar to hiv. fiv cats have a lifespan of five years on average. jade is 11 and she is the sweetest cat ever. this face she is making is her only real form of protest, and she loves people. i've had her for ages and the one part i don't like about being in college is that i don't get to hug her all day every day.

my shirt in this picture is from opening ceremony, but i didn't know that when i bought it (for 28 dollars at search and destroy). i accidentally find really cool shit sometimes.
this batman headband is from etsy seller jaahart who is not only a geek after my own heart but incredibly sweet and cool to work with (this was a custom order from her). she even sent me two deadpool hairclips for free!
this dress, which i bought on ebay. it looks kind of funny in the picture because i hadn't fashioned the back, but it is a princess dress of the highest order, and has fake flowers on top. and a pink sash. i love it. boyfriend thinks i look ridiculous in it.

ask me if i care.
speaking of boyfriend... i am not going to broadcast to the blogosphere what is ~up with our relationship right now, but i will say that things always work out for the best, and he is and always will be one of the most wonderful people in my life.

i need to find a really cool sign off. like THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

okay, that's not working for me.

haemoglobin is the key to a healthy heartbeat

once again, the scared rabbit face. i don't know what this shits about


if i was a superhero this would be my costume.

necessities

seche vite topcoat. i always, ALWAYS fucked up my manicures before i got this, often to the point of making my nails a sticky mess and needing to repaint them. seche vite dries in like two minutes so i don't have to walk around holding my hands in the air like fucking snow white or something.

lincoln park after dark by opi: i'm not joking when i say i always wear this nail polish... no matter what look i do i incorporate this colour, either matte or normal. it is perfect perfection.

sally hansen midnight in ny: limited edition so i got two bottles. perfect black with multi glitter, not huge and obnoxious but subtle and just barely noticeable. so, basically, perfect. most of the reviews i've read of this say it sucks because it takes three coats, which is true, but it's not that big of a deal to me and the colour is really unique, so i think it's worth it.

special effects hair dye in devilish. i used to use manic panic which faded fast and faded ORANGE. no love. people kept telling me to use special effects, and i finally listened, and everyone was right - it is wonderful, lasts long, and is the perfect shade of jane goldman pinky red. she apparently uses a colour called poppy by directions, but i love special effects and it's not that expensive.

one thing i still use by manic panic is their bleach. i have to bleach my hair every couple months (due for another bleach-out soon, before my next dye job) and manic panic's is easy to use, not too expensive, and effective.

urban decay eyeliner in zero: the only true perfect black.

lola marc jacobs and butterfly flower from bath and body works are my favourite scents.

eos lip balms are my favourite. i carry around five kinds of lip balm at all times - along with two shades of lipstick and a lipstick primer (yes i am crazy sometimes) - and i have eos in lemon drop and mint, and they are incredible. and sooo cute. rosebud salve, too, i use in the morning and at night.

queen of the rats

no makeup alert those who are easily offended should likely not carry on

my hair is much bigger than usual today... i twisted it all up in tiny claw clips, wet it a bit, let it dry, looked like an alien, brushed out out and felt better.
shirt - from etsy seller rockontheworld for i believe $17... they're on a break right now but hopefully they'll be back soon. i am in love with this shirt

tutu - from sockdreams, $16. i bought the white one of these (out of character, i know, but i'm glad i did it!) and a longer black one that i believe was on sale a the time... surprisingly i like this one better. hmmm.

leggings - accidentally acquired from a friend who i loaned a similar pair to earlier in the year - he gave these to me thinking they were mine, but i don't mind because we've since decided the trade should be permanent as he likes mine better and i like these better. don't know where they're from, but according to him they're "french".

necklace and bracelet - the usual, gift/chain + vertebra

for what it's worth, i'd tear the sun in three to light up your eyes.

the one thing i don't like about this dress is that there's no hook in the back at the top of my zipper... which makes this happen... which is not so classy.
dress - $18 - search and destroy

necklace - chain and coyote vertebra

bracelet - gift

punctuation tights - $25(!) from american apparel
the tights were expensive as all hell, but they're good quality - aren't itchy - and most importantly, i've worn them twice so far and both times gotten multiple compliments, somewhat surprising since they're american apparel and therefore mass produced, i'd assume they'd be more common but i've never seen them on anyone else. which i like. and i love punctuation. my favourite is the ampersand closely followed by the semicolon.

this dress is one of my many black-lace dresses, i bought this with the intention of cutting the underlayer in pieces so its a bit more risque and edgy, but i kind of like how it looks... maybe it'll get a makeover once it gets a bit warmer though. it's fucking freezing out today.
title - from for what it's worth by placebo

stripes and polkadots

dress - gift from my mother

bracelet - gift

necklace - coyote vertebra and chain

hat - from target ages ago, around $15

tights - sagging with a cute little cigarette burn hole in them, $8, sockdreams

my room/where i keep my shit

this is my room. excuse:

a) weird angles, because i was trying not to get any of my roommate's stuff in. she's great and i don't want her shit all up in the internet without her knowing... even if no one reads this. i should note that i'm reluctant to blog about friends, relationships, etc. because no one i know "in real life" knows about this blog (except you, charlie) and i don't want it to be like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME ON THE INTERNET?! if they ever find it.

b) blurry photos, took these 4 minutes after i should have left for class because i realized by the time i got back all the light would be gone. also, i have a really, really nice camera and a really, really shaky grasp of how to make it take good pictures.

and c) the fact that i live in new york city. in a dorm. dorms are small. new york city apartments are small. new york city dorms are about as small as a room can get without legally being considered a prison cell.

i just made that up. i don't think there are legal standards for a prison cell.

this is my wall, and my bed, and my nice red leather wallet my mom got me from the union square christmas market. everything on that wall has been given to me by someone, the two photos on the left are prints of shots i posed for for my friend miguel (oops just broke my friend rule...)
my drawers and also where i keep my shoes (under my bed). i REALLY need to do something about the leakage. clockwise from top left - shirts, dresses, pjs/shorts, underwear/tights. note that i have more underwear/tights than anything else.
schoolbooks. artfully arranged. one boot. pillow. glimpse of carousel skirt.
nail polish and schizophrenic self-deprecating post-its. such is the cost of being a writer and a little crazy.
necklaces. not by any means all of them, but the ones i wear most often.
make-up. i have not a TON of the stuff, but i definitely have more than i use. the stuff on the top of the leopard print case (including that little leopard bag) are the things i actually use.
closet - where i keep belts, sunglasses, bags, et cetera. desperately in need of a cleaning out.
mom's bathrobe from the '90s + "fuck you" bag from search and destroy
dresses. this is, believe it or not, about ten times better than my closet looked a couple of weeks ago - at least everything is on a hanger and not, say, stuffed up between the bar and the top of the closet because i'm out of space.
this is my desk. books mostly, diet pills, jewelry/make-up/perfume/tape/notebooks/bird light. et cetera.
this is not everything that lives in this box, but this is everything i got (for a grand total of about $25) from e.l.f. recently. i'm happy because i got quite a few things (such as cuticle pushers) that i've been sort of wanting for a while but haven't wanted to blow money on. everything on e.l.f. is so cheap and really quite good-quality.
and this is my make-up box itself... i love leopard. love it LOVE IT.